My So Called Life

The last three years of owning our own construction company have been both bad and good. It has been an enormous stress and burden on both Ben and me. Ben has had to worry about getting the jobs and getting them done and I've had to worry about all the behind the scenes kind of stuff. But, all this is changing because we are or will be dissolving Benchmark. I'm feeling a little sad. I feel like all our hard work is going down the drain. We are not quitting altogether, but we are partnering up with Ben's cousin and his wife. In theory, this move is supposed to free up some of my time so I can focus on being a mom and it should help Ben so that he doesn't have to do the managing and completion of projects all alone.

I'm not sure whether I like the decision of partnering up, but I feel it's the right thing to do. I'm really struggling with giving up all of my responsibilities. It's hard giving up and having no control over anything anymore. And I'm not sure that I like sharing either! Haha! Oh well, I better just suck it up and deal with it! Cause it's happening whether I like it or not!

I do hope it can free up some of my time because my kids and I have been struggling. I have had a lot on my plate and I haven't been giving my all to motherhood. I am a wonder woman type of person, but I am realizing that I can't do it all - all the time. It's hard to admit that too! Everyday I strive to be the best person I can be, but I fall short most days because I have too much going on. Unfortunately, I still have about 2 weeks left of business chaos before I can truly focus 100% on my family.